In most cases, the gestation process is a beautiful and even fun stage for the couple where a whole universe of possibilities is created in their imagination. However, there are certain occasions when the sweet wait turns into a bitter situation: when parents have difficulty conceiving and their environment begins to be affected.
It is in these cases, when the search for the baby becomes uphill, where emotional support is more valuable, but at the same time we must take care of what we say about it, because we can aggravate the situation instead of showing our support. Therefore, there are some hurtful phrases that we should never say to a couple looking for a baby without getting it. We must remember that words have a great impact on us, both in what we say and in the way we do it and in some situations it is best to just keep quiet.
Reproductive psychology represents one of the major factors of incidence when it comes to achieving a pregnancy. Although, reproductive and physical health is merely essential to this, the way in which our mind processes that desire to reproduce can play for or against. As in the case of psychological pregnancy.
The same happens when you seek to encourage a couple who want to have children but have not yet achieved it. These ’good wishes’ can be misinterpreted as it generates negative feelings, stress, worries, anxiety and catastrophic thoughts about why you don't get pregnant.
The same thing happens with the man, feeling somehow helpless for not helping and with a certain degree of guilt, resulting in constant tension in the couple and that the search for the baby, a moment of joy turns into a complete ordeal.
1. ‘It will happen when it has to happen’ ‘Everything happens for a reason’
This is one of the most famous sayings, with a spiritual and religious context about the ideal time to have a child. But precisely because its nature is better to avoid saying it, women will begin to ask themselves, "Then when will it be my turn?"
2 ‘That’s because you’re stressed you should take it easy’
Parents are under enough pressure for others to dismiss the seriousness of the matter for them. Remember that this is a sensitive topic that should be treated with delicacy rather than taking it lightly.
3. ‘What you need is to try another position, they sure do it wrong’
Although there are sexual positions that help stimulate conception, this is not a miraculous factor and instead of helping, this phrase can alter the intimate relationship of the couple, since they will no longer enjoy the sexual act, but it will be an obligation .
4. ‘But don't be overwhelmed, they’re also having a great time looking for the baby.’
There are cases where this is not the rule, quite the opposite. Since they feel that their efforts are worthless, the couple stops enjoying their encounters and in fact problems may begin to arise between them.
5. ‘I know a woman (neighbor, friend, daughter of…) who took this and boom! got pregnant '
There is no one missing with their homemade concoctions or strange rituals to get pregnant. Although natural homemade recipes help to have an ideal reproductive health. With this advice you will only make women obsess over looking for the 'most effective' recipe and even take risks.
6. 'I think they are exaggerating, having children is not a big deal'
Many people can have a great life as a couple without having children, however, there are others who believe that children represent an important part of forming a family. So you have to respect the wishes of each couple.
7. ‘If you don’t get pregnant for something it will be, maybe it’s for the best’
In my opinion we are predisposing the couple with this phrase that they will not be good parents at all or that there is something wrong with them.
8. ‘I will leave my children to you so you can see how you stop obsessing over’
Adding more negativity to the matter is not recommended at all because it is a way of announcing to the couple that their worries will not cease in the future because they may be bad parents.
9. 'And why don't they adopt?'
An innocent question and a great suggestion, but we must understand that for some parents there is a desire to leave their own genetic legacy and failing to do so, it becomes their own grief.
10. ‘But you already have a son. Why are you obsessed with having another one? '
This comment only produces feelings of guilt in the parents as they begin to question that the desire to have another child is because they do not feel satisfied with the first, when this is totally false.
11. ‘What they need is a vacation’
While disconnecting from everyone can bring favorable results, it can also cause the opposite result such as demotivation and distancing from the partner. Especially if they have gone on vacation before and nothing has happened.
The best is meddle as little as possible in the matter and offer our opinion only if requested or necessary. In this way, misunderstandings, hurting the partner or worrying them unnecessarily will be avoided. Remember that the circumstances are different for each couple and therefore the advice that worked for others, may not bring the same results to them.
Instead, look for positive options, you will not be able to help with their pregnancy difficulties, but you can offer your support to carry out activities that help clear the mind of the couple and release tension. Walks, trips to the movies, occasional talks, outings to eat, etc.
Actively listen It is another healthy recommendation in these cases, to let them express themselves without being judged, but simply by sharing their situation and venting their emotions. That will help you release anxieties.
You can read more articles similar to 11 hurtful phrases you shouldn't say to a couple looking for a baby, in the category of On-site fertility problems.