Children learn more from what they see in their parents than from what they say. So maybe we should talk less and act more. This was one of the many lessons I learned at the 1st #ConectaConTuHijo meeting. And it is that, as Andrés París, educational coach and pedagogue and speaker at this first event organized by our site says, "if we want to transmit the Christmas emotions and values to our children, let's start putting them into practice ourselves. "
It is important that our children see us being generous, being supportive, being empathetic, being humble ... Only in this way will we ensure that they are also generous with their friends, their schoolmates, their siblings and with us!
1. How to explain generosity to a child
The generosity It is giving without asking for anything in return. The elderly is something we discover when we are parents, because we realize that, for the first time, we are capable of giving ourselves to the other, in this case our child, without expecting anything. On the other hand, with your parents, with your partner or with your friends you always expect something, right? But not from parents to children.
And that state so pleasant is what we must transmit to our children: the fact of giving without receiving anything, although now in Christmas make it more difficult because we all have a need to have something.
2. Frustration versus disappointment
We are afraid that children will be frustrated, we do not let them experience this sensation because we do not know that this emotion gives them learning. "When someone gets frustrated, they immediately look for resources, skills and strategies to get ahead. Frustration is basic in everyone's learning process", explains Andrés París, who adds: "Frustration is something personal. I get frustrated with myself , for something that has not come out. In that case I have two options: either I leave it and see the level of the person that I am, or the frustration comes to me and I decide to arm myself with courage to face that situation ".
Sometimes the frustration it is confused with disappointment, being two totally different things. When it is frustration you get angry with yourself, but when it is disappointment, with others.
3. Learning what humility is
Humility as a value must be educated whenever possible. Humility has several meanings, but the most prominent is that humility is knowing your physical limits, but also emotional ones, and your weaknesses.
And humility is also the fact of knowing how to serve others. "The person who is humble is the one who knows himself best. As parents, what do we do at this point? First, get to know ourselves and recognize ourselves so that they can do the same," advises Andrés París.
4. The other side of solidarity
Being in solidarity at Christmas is easy, but the great challenge is to be so throughout the year. At this time of year we can do it through Food Banks or Charity Rakes, but there are more ways.
Be supportive It is also to be generous and to do it not only with material things but also with actions such as trying to understand the partner, knowing how to say something in time, listening ... and it is that you can be supportive, also, with a word or a gesture.
5. Emotions and empathy
Empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of the other, something that is very easy to say, but very difficult to put into practice, and nobody has trained us for it.
We cannot ask our son to behave as a grown-up because he has never been in a grown-up mode, he is a boy! Empathy can be worked from emotions. Only if I know what sadness is, because I have lived and experienced it, will I be able to understand why a child is sad. Your sadness is going to be very similar to my sadness and that's where empathy begins.
"A very good exercise - Andrés París advises us - is, when dinner time comes and you are all seated at the table, each one of you begins to say what emotion you have had throughout the day. Sharing that state is a very simple to live good moments with the family and strengthen the bond ".
6. Joy, love and illusion
We have to respect the emotions of others and if this year, for any circumstance, we don't feel like celebrating Christmas, nothing happens! What we have to think about is "What capacity do I have to face this situation in a healthy and normal way? A moment that will test your resilience.
And finally, Christmas teaches us to love and it does so through all these values that we have spoken about previously, because love is everything: it is solidarity, it is humility, it is generosity, it is frustration, it is disappointment ... Love is not taught, it comes with us, it is part of our animal essence. And, most importantly, through love we can connect with our son.
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