Values

Alternatives for not educating children with threats


Educating is a very tiring and sometimes complicated task, but when parents carry out this task they find a great reward. Parents do not always educate their children as they would like. Sometimes due to lack of time, others due to accumulated fatigue due to work, the situation in which they find themselves or the character of the child himself. What must be clear is that educating children with threats is not an adequate educational resource for either party.

Threats are the manifestation of violence, not physical, but psychological. These are usually accompanied by screaming that may seem harmless but can affect children in their behavior and on a psychological level.

Parents often resort to threats because they find supposed advantages such as: being a quick and easy resource to use, it does not require intellectual wear and tear to use, it can achieve the short-term objective, or it can instill a character of authority in the person who uses it. uses. Other times, parents use threats to control children's behavior due to lack of resources such as:

  • Knowing how to set limits and consistent and appropriate consequences.
  • Parents are "disconnected" from the child and hurt his self-concept.

This lack of resources makes Many parents educate children with threats when they feel like they are losing control. In this way they try to regulate the child's behavior based on fear.

  1. The continuous use of threats can lead to the deterioration of the child's self-esteem. He will not feel valued by his parents and may even constantly reveal himself and challenge his parents' authority.
  2. The continuing threat can cause stress in the child and it will not be beneficial for their development.
  3. With the threats the child is not taught to take responsibility for their actions, you are taught to act to avoid punishment.
  4. The threats that are used they are usually so strong that parents do not comply, so the word of the parents loses authority and credibility.
  5. The child learn from the continued example of threats from their parents and you will get used to this kind of behavior. Then he will use threats as a way of relating to his friends, acquaintances and even against his parents.

The threats that adults turn to as an educational resource come, as we already know, accompanied by negative consequences. Therefore, adults must find the true alternatives that help children to learn and grow in a healthy way. For example:

- Generate respect
The child is likely to obey in the face of the threat. However, when the child grows and fear disappears, respect is lost. Therefore, it is necessary for the child to know that the parents are the authority but from mutual respect.

- Use valid explanations
Using the argument: 'because I said so ...' does not work. A clear and precise explanation must be given so that the child understands and can repair what he is doing wrong.

- Put yourself in the child's place
Children are not adults. You have to try to see things from their point of view.

- Speak positive
Change the context of words. Children create pictures of our words. So, you'd better tell him: 'slow down' than say: 'Don't run.'

- Being a model of values

- That the child can choose
The little one should feel that he has a voice. Giving alternatives to choose from makes you feel like you can decide.

You can read more articles similar to Alternatives for not educating children with threats, in the category of Punishments on site.


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